A few years ago I met a wonderful person. He was just going through a rough divorce, and I was there when he needed a helping hand.
As time passed by, we started dating and eventually, living together. Our relationship began with sadness and baggage from the past but soon turned into something beautiful and promising.
Before this romantic ˝hook-up˝ I was a very well rounded person, in sync with my inner-self. I was alone a lot but never lonely. Whenever I wanted some company, we would go out with my friends, or on another occasion, I would enjoy my meaningful solitude. Meditation and every-day psychology were my favorite occupations.
Falling in love and being in a serious relationship turned my life upside down. Instead of remaining at least a smidgen true to myself I have changed completely, started acting outside my comfort zone and somewhere along the way I´ve lost myself entirely.
A very bad and perhaps even stupid decision. Because that´s all, there was. My decision. Nobody forced me to act this way. I just did.
Soon I became lonely, bitter and on the verge of a break-up.
That´s why I think one of the biggest mistakes that a person can make to mess up his/her life is letting go of your entity when you fall in love. A massive failure.
I am pretty sure there are many hurtful souls out there feeling the same. Right?
I can´t stress enough that it was completely my decision to act in this manner and there is absolutely no one else to blame for my fiasco than myself. I just wish I knew better.
I know now I should have drawn the line at some point and not went along with everything just to make him happy.
Don´t try being a martyr/saint and mess with a victim mentality, because you could get consumed easily if you are not careful.
So, in my eyes, losing my essence of who I was, counts as an enormous failure.
But I´m learning and getting wiser one day at the time.